According to the New York Times, the near automotive future has all of us medium-speeding around in a tinny Chinese Lunch Special #18 Din-qui Car with Hybrid Sauce.

Well, the troglodytes at Popular Mechanics – God bless ‘em – have been quietly grilling a big, juicy steak and fries for red-blooded Greenies who still wanna drive like men.

Riffing on its own long annual tradition of politically-incorrect Car Makeovers, PM decided for 2009 to go green – but not at the expense of grunt. The 2009 Eco+Muscle Dodge Challenger swaps in a backseat of batteries and a driveshaft-mounted electric motor running in parallel with the hairy Hemi V-8 engine up front, to raise the Challenger’s in-town mileage to 99 miles per gallon.

The Elephant motor still takes the wheels on the open road, where, BTW, it still manages nearly 25 mpg. Technically, the Challenger gets extra points for also using nitrous oxide as an alternative fuel, giving it an extra seven mph in its 12.9-second 1/4-mile time.